From Jason Pargin, the New York Times bestselling author of the cult sensation John Dies at the End, comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.
Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.
You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection—the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed.
Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
"Like an episode of AMC's The Walking Dead written by Douglas Adams of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." –Washington Post
"Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller... [Jason Pargin] is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." –SF Signal
- New eBook additions
- New eBook additions for Kids
- New eBook additions for Teens
- Most popular
- Most popular for Kids
- Most popular for Teens
- Available Now
- Available Now for Kids
- Available Now for Teens
- Book Club 2025-2026: Guaranteed Available : Karapu Pukapuka: Wātea Mārika 2025-2026
- Classic Literature Book Club : Guaranteed Available
- Travel Club 2025-2026: Guaranteed Available
- Reese's Pieces
- See all ebooks collections
- New eAudiobook additions
- New eAudiobook additions for Kids
- New eAudiobook additions for Teens
- Most popular eAudiobooks
- Most popular eAudiobooks for Kids
- Most popular eAudiobooks for Teens
- Available now on eAudio
- Available Now on eAudio for Kids
- Available Now on eAudio for Teens
- AudioBook Club 2025-2026: Guaranteed Available
- Classic "Reads" AudioBook Club : Guaranteed Available
- Children's AudioBook Club 2025-2026: Guaranteed Available
- See all audiobooks collections
- Ngā pukapuka i te reo Māori : Books in the Māori Language
- Tusi Samoa : Samoan Books
- Ngaahi tohi ʻi he lea faka-Tongá : Books in Tongan
- 中文书籍 Zhōngwén shūjí : Books in Chinese
- 中文杂志 Zhōngwén zázhì : Magazines in Chinese
- Книги українською мовою : Books in Ukrainian
- Książki w języku polskim : Books in Polish
- किताबें हिंदी में Kitaaben hindee mein : Books in Hindi
- Buugaag af-soomaali ku qoran : Books in Somali
- Livres en français : Books in French
- Magazines en français : Magazines in French
- Bücher in deutscher Sprache : Books in German
- Zeitschriften in deutscher Sprache : Magazines in German
- See all language collections collections
